Drug of Choice
It is a magical drug. It possesses the power to make heavy things lighter, to bring deep joy, and to return us to original factory settings when things have gone a bit off the rails. It is my very best weapon when confronted with crazy. What is this amazing elixir that I cannot get enough of? It's time with my girlfriends and although I am not a doctor, I suggest you get yourself a hefty dose on a regular basis if you want to thrive and live your best life! One warning here, you are likely to develop an addiction after just one hit. There is no alternative fix for the physical and emotional cravings. The side effects that come from withdrawal can only be treated with quality gal pal interaction.
I have built my arsenal of girlfriends over a lifetime. Its an eclectic grouping of beautiful humans, gifted to me from above. They came into my life as family, classmates, coworkers and friends-of-friends. We met by chance or by design. Some have been around for years, others arrived recently. We are in contact almost daily or just once in a while, living close by or far away. These women hold space at the very center of my existence, my soul-sisters. Each brings a unique perspective and has taught me something valuable about myself. There are no rules or expectations around these relationships beyond truth, acceptance and simply showing up for one another. I am so blessed and extremely proud of the intentional nurturing I have put into this area of my life. The effort has paid me back a million times over. I am beyond grateful that I get to live life with these lovelies along side me. They are a high-priority, always.
Precious time with girlfriends looks different as we navigate the seasons of our lives. It can be a quick text checking in, a supportive comment on social media, a phone call over speaker phone during a commute, or virtual happy hour on Facetime. It is trying out appetizers and dessert at a new restaurant late at night, sharing an impromptu bottle of wine after a difficult week, or enjoying side-by-side pedicures. It looks like hours in deep conversation around a fire pit, long walks where you hash out all the things, or a weekend get away you've been planning for years. The length of time you have to spend or what you're physically doing doesn't really matter much. It's about being seen, feeling heard, mutual respect and understanding, free from judgement and being met exactly where you are. One-on-one or in a group, I always leave these girlfriend interactions feeling deeply loved and with a renewed sense of being able to kick some major booty in whatever is to come. After all, I have an army of fierce warriors in the trenches with me!
It has never been about the number of these stellar women I have in my life, however the quality of the relationships I have in my closest circle has been key. These relationships absolutely cannot be one-sided or drama-filled. A girlfriend may be in a season of need and I am here for them 100%, in that season. If they chose to stay there indefinitely, I feel the need to give myself some distance. Life has taught me that people who live in that space by choice drain my batteries. Some relationships have simply been outgrown and that is perfectly okay. People are not always meant to stay in your life forever, but to teach you what you need to learn from them and move on.
Acquaintances have morphed into these deep friendships through shared experiences over time. Occasionally, the intense connection has been immediate. In my continual quest to become the best version of myself, I sometimes find that I desire a fresh influence. I seek out women whom I admire for their achievement in areas I want to grow. My girlfriend group is fluid, evolving as I do. Imagine a circle that is not completely closed, as we drop each others hands regularly to welcome in new hearts and release those who wish or need to walk away. I value diversity in my girlfriends; background, age, lifestyle, and personality. It keeps me balanced, challenged and open-minded. They are very much alike in a few ways, though. They are all perfectly imperfect, willing to be honest, not afraid of being vulnerable and make no attempt to apologize for being who they are. Women of this caliber, seeking to do life with each other in a meaningful way, are not "available in limited quantities". They are waiting for you to reach out. Extend your hand and take a risk. Be willing to expand your group or make some edits as necessary.
You will not regret investing in your girlfriends. They are the dealers of this magical drug. The tough things are so much easier to bear and the wins, big and small, are so much sweeter when shared with my girls. Taken in high doses, girlfriend time has been my feel-good IV drip for years. My addiction to time with my girlfriends is perhaps the healthiest thing I do for my spirit on a regular basis. It is a non-negotiable for the health of my mind and is as essential as breathing, eating and sleeping is for my body.
To my girlfriends, my drug of choice, I am eternally thankful for you - showing up beside me at just the right time, without being asked, ready for anything life can throw at us, standing with arms linked, and laughing so hard we might just need Depends! You know who you are.