Suffocation by Stuff
Suffocation by Stuff - that was the self-diagnosis and it was spot on.
I decided I was going to be the hero in our story...so we signed the lease on the new duplex, reducing our square footage to about 1/3 of our previous space and I got to work. No item was above scrutiny. If we didn't love it or use it regularly, it was leaving. I sorted, donated, tossed and sold like a maniac. Every drawer, cupboard, and closet. Basement storage room to rafters. Strangely, I felt very little emotional attachment to almost every item I touched. I trend toward being sentimental, but not this time. As the stuff was escorted out I started to feel lighter, sensing calm come over me.
Why had I thought these things made our house more of a home? Why did I also buy into the story that a family needs lots of space - probably for all their stuff?
The hubby and teens were in charge of sorting their personal belongings. I didn't go so far as to wrestle possessions out of their grasp, though it was tempting! It was enlightening to watch their different approaches to down-sizing. Some were more successful than others. I offered my assistance, but not everyone was excited about playing Momma's new game. They knew what their new space looked like and I let them plan accordingly. Absolving myself of that responsibility was liberating!
By the time moving day came, there wasn't much left to load on the truck. What came to Kansas 7 years ago in a semi and a half, was now 2 loads in a 15 foot U-Haul. I realized the only thing crazy about this whole deal was not having done it sooner!
Our new space requires life on a smaller scale. The stack of cash amassed from selling our excess turned into fresh new furniture that fits perfectly. Every item put away was questioned again. Do we need this? Does it bring us joy? More stuff was sold and donated. I am down to the last row of boxes in the garage to unpack, mostly photos and crafting items. Then it's time for some more organizing and one final sweep to make sure I haven't missed even one random meaningless object. A yearly purge is already on the calendar for next year to keep the stuff in check.
I have yet to hang anything on the walls or decorate. The blank canvas is refreshing and I'm in no hurry to fill it up. Yardwork isn't missed. Instead, I dote on beautiful pots of flowers. Common spaces can be completely picked up in 10 minutes or less and everyone seems more conscious of not leaving their stuff lying about in the limited space we have. I don't have to text or holler to get my kids attention anymore and we definitely have more face-time. We even hosted all four grandparents for several nights in our new little home and it felt like cozy togetherness, not crowded craziness. I am free to spend time on things that refuel my spirit, without the guilt of a home needing attention. There is even an added bonus - money that was once spent on large utility bills can be redirected to college tuition funds. Life feels significantly more manageable and I feel less overwhelmed.
I am absolutely certain some (even those that live with me) thought I was crazy as I announced the plan to downsize our life with kids still living at home. I got some funny looks and some cryptic comments. However, when I feel like I am given a divine download of an idea from above, I've learned to listen and obey. Now that we're almost completely settled in, there seems to be a consensus that it was the right thing to do. I know that I can certainly breathe better in this space with less stuff! Just what the doctor ordered.