Catching the Signs

I have asked for signs from my higher power for decades. When I was wrestling with something. When I couldn’t align my head with my heart. When hope felt lost. When outcomes were unclear. When decisions were scary. I just wanted to know which way to turn, which thing to focus on, or which path to follow. I would ask and then wait for a clue to appear. Waiting, usually not so patiently. Wishing a huge aha moment would magically transpire and I could get on with things. Gifting me with the clarity I wanted before it was necessary to take action. Often I didn’t have time to wait and had to respond from a place of uncertain panic…never a good feeling.

A bunch of these requests for a sign occurred during busier seasons of my life. Times when I couldn’t even hear myself think. Wisdom from above likely buzzed right on by, unnoticed. Problem was, I was never still long enough to connect the dots. Between work, kids and all the other hullabaloo, there wasn’t really time to pay attention. To sit and wait for it. To really listen for that small voice coming from within. Looking back now, I can vaguely recognize moments where I might possibly have seen a sign - but missed the message completely.

Those days of hustle and grind are now behind me, thankfully. I wish I knew then what I know now. That the frenetic pace of life sold to us by society is unhealthy. You chase because you think you have to. The busiest person has the most street cred. You are only as valuable as your bank account or as worthy as your success, the definition of which isn’t even your own. We hurry when there is no need, stress over things we cannot control, and numb ourselves into not caring about the judgement we endure. Instead, what if we valued the depth and quality of our relationship with others and ourselves, the mental and physical condition of us and our loved ones, the peace and understanding we could share with all humans and the love and light we can shine into a hurting world?

We can’t go back and change past choices and I don’t believe in wasting time on what ifs. Don’t get me wrong, my life has been an amazing ride - I have a huge gaggle of wonderful people I call mine and a bucketful of happy memories to treasure. I am a lucky woman and take nothing for granted. Would I change some things if there were do-overs? Maybe (its all made me who I am today). Did I struggle more than necessary some times? For sure (but damn, am I strong because of it). Were things harder because of the lightening speed at which I was traveling through my days? Absolutely (I got a lot accomplished, but lost parts of me in the process).

Over the last 5 years, I have shifted my thinking, my lifestyle, and the terms by which I am willing to live my one and only life. Becoming the most authentic version of me has been my primary focus. It has taken both micro-tweaks and massive pivots to realign everything, to get to where it feels consistently correct. Other people don’t always support you when you change - some aren’t meant to be with you for a lifetime, sad but true. Some see no value in choosing to ignore the trends, bucking the system and embracing new ways of being. It’s their life and if they want to live in a state of overwhelm and comparison, let them. I am not seeking their approval and am unwilling to abandon myself to fit their expectations, to follow their rules and live by their standards. I have chosen the path toward more of what is important to me and I’ve never been happier or more certain.

Once I began the process of clearing out the cobwebs created by years of mayhem, decided to intentionally slow my roll, trusted my own internal radar, aligned my actions with my values and made the things that feel true to me the priority - all the negative junk, that had a heavy influence on me previously, faded away. It’s been so refreshing and invigorating. I share my experiences in hopes that those a little behind me on the path to embracing our authentic selves, those who are noticing that the frenzy is consuming their joy, can take a pause to consider if they want to continue to play the game the way it’s been scripted or if they want to opt out. The choice belongs to each of us. Yes, you have a choice. Surrounding yourself with those who don’t buy into the steady beat down of our souls helps to make the choice easier. Seek them out. I am already here, waiting for you.

In my selectively slower existence, I actively create white space on my calendar. I carve out moments of reflection, journaling, rest and joy. Some regular solitude and a softer structure bring me comfort and recovery. Peace and a saner pace for me are now non-negotiable. I don’t chase what I want, I attract it. I have embraced flow. I remove myself from unnecessary drama and only accept positive vibes coming at me. Most importantly, when I ask for a sign now, in this less commercialized version of my life:

I hear that still small voice within, and she doesn’t have to shout to get my attention.

I catch the messages coming from above, like fireflies in a jar instead of a brick upside the head.

I never stopped asking for signs, even when it was the hardest. I never quit trying to see them, because I believe I’m not on this journey alone. Arriving where I am today was a gradual metamorphasis, brought about by:

Intentionally paying attention to what was important to me.

Learning and trusting that my instincts are not wrong.

Continually getting stronger at tuning out all the external noise.

If you are curious about why things feel so hard, you’ve been afraid to even ask for a sign or can’t figure out why you are missing them, take a pause and assess your life. Overwhelmed? Sad? Disconnected? Surviving? You already know if you have no margin for a pause, you are in need of one. If you don’t see the value in having signs guide you on the journey of life, please disregard this message or consider it a sign that you might want to care after all. We could all use a little help with navigation. No matter what Higher Power you might believe in, or if you believe there isn’t one at all, the signs are all around. Are you in a mindset where you can catch them?